I Am So Thankful for Family


I am so grateful for family.

And when I say family, I not only mean my family of choice; I mean family by blood. I am a fortunate gay man that was not kicked out of the house and did not lose my family when I came out. I thought I was going to be. I figured my dad would want nothing to do with me. I hoped that my mother would at least live with it. I thought “family” was going to be over.

And yet it all went over much better than I thought it would. In fact my dad all but yawned. He’d figure it out. Because I talk with my hands! LOL! I wanted to cry out (actually I did), “What does that have to do with anything?” and then realized I was gesticulating with said hands!

As it further turned out, one of my father’s oldest friends (and who my brother was partially named after) was gay!

“Dad!” I cried (yes, I actually did). “How in the world has that never come up? How could you never have told me that Uncle Alan was gay?” (not really my uncle, but as a kid he was so close to my dad that using the word Mr. Brown seemed wrong to my parents)

Dad shrugged and said something like, “I never thought about it much. It wasn’t important.”

Mom was the one who wound up struggling with the whole gay thing. She still does I think although she loves my husband dearly and considers us a couple and everything, but she still hopes we’ll both find a nice lady (I almost asked her once, “You mean the same one?”)

But that doesn’t matter. She is trying. She loves me. She loves us. And tonight I am having dinner with her and my family—my husband and daughter—and her new husband and, yes (!), we are all family! We are in Arkansas, visiting my mother, for Thanksgiving! This is the first time I’ve seen my mother in almost two years.

My blessings are overwhelming! Not only do I have my beloved family of choice. Not only do I have the family I helped create. Not only do I have my family by (legal) marriage. But I have a blood family that loves me and accepts me and who I love and accept back.

That is a lot to be thankful for.

Ben aka BG Thomas


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