And we’re going to…drum-roll please….

Gatlinburg, TN!


The trip is booked, airline tickets paid for, hotel reservations made.

Would anyone care to guess how far *down* on my bucket list Gatlinburg, TN is? To give you an idea, I’m not even sure I knew there *was* a place called Gatlinburg, TN. I’m *pretty* sure R didn’t know Gatlinburg, TN, existed before a month or so ago, when he was asking around at work for good places to go for a vacation and someone (he smartly won’t tell me who) suggested Gatlinburg for good wholesome family fun (as if we have kids to take). As if good old fashioned wholesome family fun was some kind of goal.

But when my husband R gets a hair up his @$%, then that’s it.

There are *so* many places in this country I would like to go, and R does not travel, so I have to say I’m a little disappointed.

I mean look what the choices are of the FABulous places we can go in Gatlinburg!!! We can go to the “Dukes of Hazzard” museum! Wooo Hooo! We can go to a salt and pepper museum! Or the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Museum (because there aren’t 3,765 Ripley’s Museums in the world)! Or the Shoot’em Up Cinema (“Grab your gun, put on your 3D glasses and hang on to the harness and you can have a virtual horse riding experience, because gosh durn it, there are so many places in the Smokies to ride on an actual horse, why would you want to do that?)! Or the Christ In The Smokies Museum And Gardens (because that’s where Jesus was born?)! Or the Fannie Farkle’s Family Fun Parlor (I am not even sure what to say about this one)!

Oh well, R *really* needs to get away. He has been working many many many hours and he wants a vacation. And for some reason, he has ruled out such places as Washington DC and P-Town and even Yellowstone National Park. He has a very odd set of rules guiding all this.

He doesn’t want to go to DC because that’s a “concrete jungle” and he doesn’t want that (which rules out Las Vegas, St. Louis, ).

And he doesn’t want to go anywhere gay (because God knows we *wouldn’t* want to go to a city that would welcome us—and that rules out places like Key West, P-Town, San Francisco and Atlanta—the first two of which I’ve never been to, and *dream* of going).

It can’t be some place we can drive to in a few hours because that would be a “day trip” and he doesn’t want that for a reason he will not explain, even though we would be able to have more actual sightseeing because we wouldn’t lose two days for travel (and that eliminates St Louis, Branson, Eureka Springs and Boise).

And for some reason he won’t consider places like Yellowstone National Park. Except the reason is that he’s set his mind on Gatlinburg, TN.

Do any of the rest of you have spouses that are like dogs with a bone? Once their mind is set on it, nothing can change their minds?

Oh well. Sometimes you do things for your husband, don’t you? And I DO love him with all my heart and soul. And for some bizarre reason he really wants to do this. So, we’re going to do it. AND R is paying for it! His new position at work pays good money, especially during overtime, and he wants to treat. I ain’t sayin’ no to that, gurl!

And hey!!! Dollywood is right there! And I luves me some Dolly! I have thought it would be fun to go there for years, and could not imagine the possibility of it ever happening. So, I’ll get to go! Of course, Dolly won’t be there, like she was when Paul Richmond was there as a young man.

But a Boy Can Dream!

And the Ober Gatlinburg Aerial Tramway looks kind of amazing.

And we are going to have fun. It’s a vacation! We won’t be at work! Luckily, having fun one of *this* Faerie’s *greatest* super powers. *I* can find fun anywhere. I mean, if I can find fun going to a *baseball* game, then I can find fun *anywhere!*

AND it will be The Three Bears! It will be wonderfully bonding, the was these trips always are.

What could be better than that?
Peace and Love and some Namasté in thur too!

PS: Does anyone know if there is even the remotest possibility that there is a gay bar in Gatlinburg?

PPS: Do I need to bring a pair of Daisy Duke shorts and a corn cob pipe?

PPPS: My Facebook dictionary did not recognize “Gatlinburg.”



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