RE-BLOG; “Men’s Variety” Explains Otters in a Fairly Good and Comprehensive Article

From the online magazine Men’s Variety comes this fairly good/comprehensive essay explaining what “otters,” a subgroup of gay men, are. It is good information for gay romance writers as well as anyone who might be interested! The author seems to have a type. My husband “R” is “technically” more an otter than a bear, but he likes being a part of that community. Enjoy…!

Gay Otters: Learn About the Hairy Relative of Wolves and Bears!

Gay Otters Are So Cute!

Gay otters represent one of the largest swath of men within the Continue reading

Happy Autumn, Peaceful Autumnal Equinox, and Bright Mabon Blessings

“And all at once, summer collapsed into fall.”
~~ Oscar Wilde

It’s a lovely time of year and what I will focus on. It is a time of change, and change can be good. I’m calling on the good and I pray for it for you as well. I don’t like the cold. But I like cuddling and autumn colors.

My Pagan friends celebrate this day as Mabon, and the Autumn Equinox divides the day and night equally, and we can all take a moment to pay our respects to the impending dark and give thanks to the waning sunlight, as we store our harvest of this year’s crops. According to “The Celtic Connection,” the Druids call this celebration, Mea’n Fo’mhair, and honor the Green Man, the God of the Forest, by offering libations to trees. Offerings of ciders, wines, herbs and fertilizer are appropriate at this time. Wiccans celebrate the aging Goddess as she passes from Mother to Crone, and her consort the God as he prepares for death and re-birth.

Did you know that Fall leaf colors actually exist all year long? Leaves come in all different colors including yellow and orange and purple and red, but we normally see they as green most of the year because chlorophyll is produced more in the summer months. As the Earth tilts, they get less sunlight and therefor the chlorophyll production goes down and the natural colors of the leaves comes through!

Did you know Fall isn’t caused by the Earth’s distance from the sun? That’s right. Fall, like all of the seasons, is caused by the Earth’s tilt in relation to the sun. It gets warmer in each hemisphere when that hemisphere tilts toward the sun and colder when it leans away.

Fall is only “Fall” to Americans, even though the term was coined in Britain. The word “harvest” was used until the 1300’s, but sometime after, poets coined the phrase “the fall of leaves” — shortened to “Fall” in the 1600s. The word “autumn” still remained popular throughout England’s period of colonizing the world. The lack of consistent communication between the English and the people in the American colonies led to differences in the language. By the mid-1800s, the word “fall” had firmly rooted itself in America.

I suspect one day soon I’ll be running around taking lots of pictures, if I can get them. Autumn often lasts about a week here in KC—LOL!—because it will be just starting to turn colors and then a big storm will hit and all the leaves will be gone. But those couple days?


I hope that your day and your season are filled with blessings and that the changes will be the best ever!
BG “Ben” Thomas
I got some of my information from here!:
CNN Travel: “The first day of fall is here. Here are 5 things you probably didn’t know.”
By Cassandra Santiago and Amanda Barnett CLICK HERE
The Celtic Connection: “Mabon” CLICK HERE

A Re-Blog from Love Bytes: I Thought I Would Share a Special Moment (or two) With You!


Thought I would share the guest post I did for Dani Elle Maas’s amazing MM Romance blog, LoveBytes yesterday. You can read it below or also the original post by Clicking Rich HERE. The advantage of doing the second is you will see a wonderful world of articles, essays, reviews and more. Either place you can see what I have to say about gays being homogenized and heteronormalized AND even BETTER, you can see the video of my drag act.

Not bad, huh?

Check it out, Girlfriends!
BG “Ben” Thomas

I Thought I Would Share a Special Moment (or two) With You!

Some of you may know that each year I go to a retreat called Midwest Men’s Festival. It’s the center of my year. In many ways the axis my world revolves around. It’s that important to me. It even inspired my novel, Summer Lover.

It’s a little hard how to explain just what Midwest Men’s Festival is. Without writing a novel here, that is, instead of an essay. If you ever saw that episode of Queer As Folk where Michael and Emmet go to Faerie Camp, you can get an idea. But part of what it is a total rejection of the homogenization and heteronormalizing of gay men.

What I mean by that is that it often feels that a big part of why gay men are becoming more and more “accepted” (and I can’t speak for LBTQ) is that we as a culture are becoming more and more Continue reading

GAY PRIDE MONTH; Day Thirty, Pride Music

This past month, during Gay Pride’s Fiftieth Anniversary, I have shared a few of my personal Pride anthems. These included Heather Small’s “Proud”, Johnna’s “Pride” and Gloria Gaynor’s version of “I Am What I Am” from the musical version of La Cage aux Folles. All have wonderful things to say and stir my blood. Others would include “I Will Survive” also by Ms Gaynor, “You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)” by Sylvester, “We Are Family” by Sister Sledge, “I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross, “It’s Raining Men” by The Weather Girls, and “Firework” by Katy Perry are just a few more. But one that rises above, for me, is Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way.” The words are powerful and speak not only to all the “letters” in GLBTQIA+ but also all peoples. She excludes no one!

No matter gay, straight, or bi
Lesbian, transgendered life
I’m on the right track, baby
I was born to survive
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made
I’m on the right track, baby
I was born to be brave

Here is the version I picked out…. Continue reading

GAY PRIDE MONTH; Day Twenty-Seven, What Fifty Years of Gay Pride Means to Me


It Was Fifty Years Ago Today!

by BG “Ben” Thomas

“I got in an argument just recently with a young man in a club who just flat out denied that it had ever been illegal to be gay. He simply did not know that when I was his age, when I was just coming out, it was a felony. Every police department in every major city in this country had special sections whose sole purpose was to hunt down and imprison homosexuals—for consenting behavior between adults. That’s the reality I came out in.”

~~  Cleve Jones

Early in the morning on June 28th, 1969, in the Greenwich Village neighborhood of Manhattan, New York City, the police raided a bar called the Stonewall Inn. It happened all the time. Judy Garland, a gay diva, had just died on the 22nd. On top of that, the Stonewall had just been raided, and so everyone knew it was safe, at least for a while. Plus, they had made their payoffs to the police as well.

The Stonewall Inn was a bar that gay people could go to and dance, together, close. Touch. Maybe find love. Imagine, a world where it was illegal to be GLBTQ. Imagine a world where it was illegal to serve alcohol to gay people. A world where it was considered a mental illness. A world where there was no Will & Grace, or Ellen, or Love, Simon or Gay Straight Alliance clubs in high school or acceptance in any way. If you were queer, you either hid it even to yourself, or hid it from your opposite sex spouse and got sex secretly in parks or bathrooms (where you could be arrested and your life ruined) or you ran away to gay ghettos in San Francisco or New York’s Village.

And imagine in that dreaded world, imagine finding community, and finding a bar where you could touch a member of the same sex, where you could dance…. It must have been exhilarating! Liberating! Unifying! And that night, fifty years ago, the Stonewall Inn should have been safe.

I always knew I was different. I was just so sheltered; I didn’t know what the difference was. We didn’t talk about sex in my home. And sex was only talked about in school as in, “Doesn’t she have a great set of tits?!” I was well read and intelligent and yet I had no idea I was gay. It shocks me when men tell me they knew when they were gay that they were in first or second grade. I was so totally sexually unaware, that I didn’t know what I was feeling for guys was sexual. In retrospect, it’s pretty ridiculous that I didn’t know, but I was that sheltered.  Continue reading

GAY PRIDE MONTH; Day Twenty-Seven, Special Guest Jamie Fessenden

Today my guest, speaking on this special year and the fiftieth anniversary of the Stonewall uprising and what the world knows as the birth of Gay Pride, is my special friend Jamie Fessenden. And you are in for a treat.

Jamie is a man who will always keep you guessing and always be a source of the unexpected. That is a small part of what I like so much about him. Five him free reign to do something, and he always gives me what I didn’t expect. For instance, when I asked him to write a story for my anthology A More Perfect Union, to write a story about same-sex marriage told from the perspective of a legally married gay man who figured he never would be allowed to be legally married, he turned in a breath taking story that I realized was almost entirely autobiographical. Not what I expect—but perfect.

And when I asked him if he would participate in this celebration of fifty years of Gay Pride, told him that I would appreciate a minimum of 250 words, but he could go on as long as he wanted, guess what Jamie did? Well, unlike my other guests who gave me wonderful essays that ranged from about 250 to 700 words, Jamie gave me just short of 3.000! And I love him for it!

Jamie said to me after sending this essay to me: “Looking at your blog, I can see that mine is far too rambling, compared to the others. Don’t feel you have to use it. It was fun writing it – kind of therapeutic.”

Not use it? Is he crazy? Of course I was using it, and am using it! Because it is long and really tells his truth and his story, and because I hope that it might be “therapeutic” to you as well.

I have so much to say about this man, this wonderful writer, this man who always blows me away with his insights and his pure passion, and the best roommate ever, but if I don’t stop now, my into will be as long as his essay.

I do have to say that Jamie’s participation makes me especially happy since this means that all the “boys” from the A More Perfect Union anthology wrote an essay. Jamie, J. Scott Coatsworth and Michael Murphy (you can read their essays by clicking on their names). Tomorrow you get mine and that really is all four of us!

So, this is it…I am stopping! And letting you go on a read something that should not be missed. Enjoy! I know you will!  Continue reading


Another GLBTQ Happening! And I was expecting to see a lot more on this wonderful day today…but not one so far. Is it complacency already? Is it *yawn* we have the right to marry? I hope the heck not! Marriage equality is important and should not be taken for granted. DID YOU KNOW THAT three states have introduced Bills to ban marriage equality to get it back in front of SCOTUS? Despite the 2015 U.S. Supreme Court ruling legalizing same sex marriage nationwide? Yup! Do not sleep! Remember that people have the power! Pay attention to what your representatives are doing and VOTE!.

Idiots say, what next? Polyamorous marriage? Well I know that R and I would love to be legally married to Noah! What does it hurt anyone?

We have risen so far! We do NOT want to fall! And it could happen!

If you are married today, to a same-sex partner or opposite-sex partner, I hope that you will take their hand today and look them in the eyes and tell them that you love them! I hope that you remember to be grateful for what you have! And never take it for granted!

Peace and Namasté!
BG “Ben” Thomas