National Denim Day: A Fairly Naughty Post

Denim Day takes place on the last Wednesday of April, which is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. This day of action and awareness is an event in which people are encouraged to wear denim to combat victim blaming and educate others about sexual violence.

Looking hot in denim, no matter how tight or revealing, is NOT consent! Admire away, but never touch, or worse, unless consent is given!

One of the best ways to observe this day is by wearing denim. It doesn’t have to be jeans as you can wear denim jackets, shirts, hats, etc, and they don’t have to be blue!

In observance of National Demin Day, wear denim. It doesn’t have to be jeans as you can wear denim jackets, shirts, hats, etc. See a LOT more sexy men by Clicking Here

IT’S FURRY FRIDAY; Celebrating Yule, the Winter Solstice!

Season’s Greetings and Solstice Blessings to You All!

This coming Monday—December 21st—is Yule, the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year. It is a festival historically connected to ancient celebrations of the Wild Hunt, the god Odin, and the pagan Anglo-Saxon Mōdraniht. Yule predates the Christmas holiday by thousands of years, and is in fact, one of the oldest winter celebrations in the world.

Some Neo-Pagans consider this the day the Holly King and the Oak King meet once again in battle—the last time was the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year—and it is on Yule that the Holly King falls in battle and the Oak King takes up the crown. And this action will, bit by bit, allow the days to grow longer and bring Summer back once again.

Ancient people were hunters and spent most of their time outdoors. The seasons and weather played a very important part in their lives. Because of this, they had a great reverence for, and even worshipped, the sun. The Norsemen of Northern Europe saw the sun as a wheel that changed the seasons. It was from the word for this wheel, houl, that some believe the word Yule is thought to have come. At mid-winter the Norsemen lit bonfires, told stories, and drank sweet ale.

The Winter Solstice was celebrated in Britain long before the arrival of Christianity. The Druids—Celtic priests—would cut the mistletoe that grew on the oak tree and give it as a blessing. Oaks were seen as sacred and the winter fruit of the mistletoe was a symbol of life in the dark winter months.

It was also the Druids who began the tradition of the Yule log. The Celts thought that the sun stood still for twelve days in the middle of winter and during this time a log was lit to conquer the darkness, banish evil spirits, and bring luck for the coming year. Many of these customs are still followed today and have been incorporated into the Christian and secular celebrations of Christmas.

Today’s Furry Friday ends our celebration of the Eight Neo-Pagan holidays and features bearded men that we feel represent this very important day. We hope you enjoy the men we found and present to you here. Check them out, and please don’t forget to vote!

May the light of the Sun shine on in your life and in your heart and in the coming year!
BG “Ben” Thomas
Noah Willoughby

See the Men by Clicking Here

The Three Bears Holiday Tree 2020

Our Yule / Christmas Tree 2020! It turned out quite beautiful despite some set-backs, chief of which that a full two weeks before Christmas, stores were stripped of ornaments, trees, and more. This made me sad because pretty much all the ornaments belong to “R” and me, representing years and years of collecting and lots of memories. But when Noah came to live with us, he didn’t bring any. In fact, he didn’t have any at all!

We wanted the tree to represent him as well, and we did find a few. And then I began think, that’s all right! R and I collected ours over years, and now Noah can too. We’re not planning on him being anywhere else besides with us! So we will have many years to collect ornaments for Noah!

A holiday tree, as far as I am concerned, takes more than one day to finish. Days and days even. You make sure to put a set amount of ornaments on the tree the first day, and then in the coming days you keep hopping up and putting on more and more, especially when you see…. “Oh look, there’s a space that isn’t decorated!”

So that’s what happened over three days or so. More ornaments. More ornaments. More ornaments.

Finally, the tree is nearly done, although I am sure to put one or two or more on the tree over the next week. And this post has a whole bunch of pictures of our ornaments. Take a look.

I hope you enjoy!

Happy Holidays!
BG “Ben” Thomas

To See a WHOLE Lot More of Our Tree, Click Here

🌻🥖🍏 Three Bears Lammas 🍴 Lughnasa Feast! 🍖🌽🌾

And this feast is such a symbol of all that we’ve been given! Pork ribs cooked with blackberries and red onion, vegetable soup made from locally grown and seasons with herbs from our garden, fire roasted corn (also local), fresh bread (it’s supposed to be a man! *G*) and apple blackberry cobbler.

And even Oliver and Frodo got to feast on rib bones! Frodo really tore into his!

Once, to our ancestors, it was a prominent Celtic festival, a joyful celebration of the first harvest. In an age when crops can be imported all year round, we tend to forget just how important this time was to our ancestors―the failure of the harvest meant starvation and death.

Thank You Universe for all You have provided, especially in such troubled times. It’s good to remember all the blessings we have!

🌻🥖🌽🌾 Happy Lammas and Blessed Lughnasa to all! 🌽🌾🌻🥖

If This Was a Normal Year (Ha! Ha!) Today Would Have Been the Last Day of Midwest Men’s Festival

But this isn’t a “normal” year is it? Nope. Not at all. It is the weirdest and possibly hardest year of my life. And darnit, I want it to be over. On the other hand, if there is one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s not to wish away my life. Because I honestly don’t know how much life I have left.

I think about some of the best friends I’ve had in my life, Paulle Jung Morvant-Alexander and Joanne Papin, and so many ohters. They were not expecting their last day and–wham–it came. Jo went in for exploratory surgery to find out why she was fainting and before the operation even started, Continue reading

I Am Confused. Please Help.

I don’t want to get all political, and I don’t want to cause any kind of hurt, any kind of anger, I am just trying to understand. Any calm and collected answers to my questions would really be appreciated

Okay, they are taking down Confederate statues which glorify historical figures. And there are those who are angry about this, and I’m not sure I understand. They claim that Continue reading

RE-BLOG; “Men’s Variety” Explains Otters in a Fairly Good and Comprehensive Article

From the online magazine Men’s Variety comes this fairly good/comprehensive essay explaining what “otters,” a subgroup of gay men, are. It is good information for gay romance writers as well as anyone who might be interested! The author seems to have a type. My husband “R” is “technically” more an otter than a bear, but he likes being a part of that community. Enjoy…!

Gay Otters: Learn About the Hairy Relative of Wolves and Bears!

Gay Otters Are So Cute!

Gay otters represent one of the largest swath of men within the Continue reading

A Re-Blog from Love Bytes: I Thought I Would Share a Special Moment (or two) With You!


Thought I would share the guest post I did for Dani Elle Maas’s amazing MM Romance blog, LoveBytes yesterday. You can read it below or also the original post by Clicking Rich HERE. The advantage of doing the second is you will see a wonderful world of articles, essays, reviews and more. Either place you can see what I have to say about gays being homogenized and heteronormalized AND even BETTER, you can see the video of my drag act.

Not bad, huh?

Check it out, Girlfriends!
BG “Ben” Thomas

I Thought I Would Share a Special Moment (or two) With You!

Some of you may know that each year I go to a retreat called Midwest Men’s Festival. It’s the center of my year. In many ways the axis my world revolves around. It’s that important to me. It even inspired my novel, Summer Lover.

It’s a little hard how to explain just what Midwest Men’s Festival is. Without writing a novel here, that is, instead of an essay. If you ever saw that episode of Queer As Folk where Michael and Emmet go to Faerie Camp, you can get an idea. But part of what it is a total rejection of the homogenization and heteronormalizing of gay men.

What I mean by that is that it often feels that a big part of why gay men are becoming more and more “accepted” (and I can’t speak for LBTQ) is that we as a culture are becoming more and more Continue reading

GAY PRIDE MONTH, Day Eight, Gay Pride Celebrations Through the Years

Today I celebrate Gay Pride by giving you just a tiny hint of celebrations through the years of Gay Pride Parades and celebrations. The one thing I insisted on in my quest for photographs was that I knew the year and something about where or when the event was going on. It is simply amazing to think that what started off as a few drag queens and butch dykes fighting back during a raid of the Stonewall Inn during the early morning hours of June 28, 1969, turned into two hundred people fighting back which turned into hundreds of people over six days with protests and violent clashes with law enforcement outside the bar on Christopher Street, in neighboring streets and in nearby Christopher Park.

And that then, a year later, there was that first Gay Pride parade. By many accounts of people who attended, it started small—just a few hundred people downtown in front of the Stonewall Inn—but by the time it arrived 50 blocks north, at Central Park, the crowd numbered in the thousands. The march stretched 15 blocks—three quarters of a mile—at its longest.

That first March was held in 1970 and has since become an annual civil rights demonstration. Over the years, its purpose has broadened to include recognition of the fight against AIDS and to remember those we have lost to illness, violence and neglect.

São Paulo Gay Pride Parade, 2006, was considered the biggest pride parade in the world by Guinness World Records with an estimated 2.5 million participants.

Word is that they are expecting 3.5 million at WorldPride NYC / Stonewall 50 this year.


We are living in interesting times!

Acceptance like never before!

But there is so far to go. There are countries where it is still illegal to be gay or lesbian or transgender. Countries where we are being tortured. Murdered.

If anyone ever asks you why we need Gay Pride celebrations? Tell them that the very reason they asked is why we need Gay Pride celebrations. And it is also to remind us that we should have PRIDE in who and what we are. Because what we are…is special and unique and beatufiful.

And God made us that way!

Peace and love,
BG “Ben” Thomas

I would really like to update this and if you have some pictures or can find some, AND, you know the year and location, you would make me happy beyond words. Please help me out!

People march into New York’s Central Park during the nation’s first Gay Pride parade on June 28th, 1970.   Continue reading

GAY PRIDE MONTH, Day One: Fifty Years of Gay Pride!

Fifty years ago this month gay people finally said, “No!” The Stonewall Inn was raided once again and a bunch of drag queens and butch dykes said, “No!”

It turned into a riot that wound up lasting for five days. Fifty years ago the gay rights movement really began. Because it was with fists and fire and shouting and fighting back. Thank goodness the seeds had been planted earlier with groups like Mattachine Society and Daughters of Bilitis. But it wasn’t until blood was shed, police blood, that gay and lesbian people let the world know that we had had enough.

In honor of that, this month, I am going to be making a number of posts of essays I’m writing, posts of personal experiences, and re-posts from other sources!

Long live all people and long live us telling those who don’t like us, “We’re here! We’re queer! Get used to it!”

And I will start things by posting pictures from Gay Pride here in Kansas City, which is my husband Noah’s very first Gay Pride. Noah and Iwere both so sad that out husband “R” had to work (his work shift is nights now, and the first weekend of the month is mandatory overtime), but he gave his blessing for us to go.

Thank you, “R!” We love you!  Continue reading