A Re-Blog from Love Bytes: I Thought I Would Share a Special Moment (or two) With You!


Thought I would share the guest post I did for Dani Elle Maas’s amazing MM Romance blog, LoveBytes yesterday. You can read it below or also the original post by Clicking Rich HERE. The advantage of doing the second is you will see a wonderful world of articles, essays, reviews and more. Either place you can see what I have to say about gays being homogenized and heteronormalized AND even BETTER, you can see the video of my drag act.

Not bad, huh?

Check it out, Girlfriends!
BG “Ben” Thomas

I Thought I Would Share a Special Moment (or two) With You!

Some of you may know that each year I go to a retreat called Midwest Men’s Festival. It’s the center of my year. In many ways the axis my world revolves around. It’s that important to me. It even inspired my novel, Summer Lover.

It’s a little hard how to explain just what Midwest Men’s Festival is. Without writing a novel here, that is, instead of an essay. If you ever saw that episode of Queer As Folk where Michael and Emmet go to Faerie Camp, you can get an idea. But part of what it is a total rejection of the homogenization and heteronormalizing of gay men.

What I mean by that is that it often feels that a big part of why gay men are becoming more and more “accepted” (and I can’t speak for LBTQ) is that we as a culture are becoming more and more Continue reading

GAY PRIDE MONTH; Day Thirty, Pride Music

This past month, during Gay Pride’s Fiftieth Anniversary, I have shared a few of my personal Pride anthems. These included Heather Small’s “Proud”, Johnna’s “Pride” and Gloria Gaynor’s version of “I Am What I Am” from the musical version of La Cage aux Folles. All have wonderful things to say and stir my blood. Others would include “I Will Survive” also by Ms Gaynor, “You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real)” by Sylvester, “We Are Family” by Sister Sledge, “I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross, “It’s Raining Men” by The Weather Girls, and “Firework” by Katy Perry are just a few more. But one that rises above, for me, is Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way.” The words are powerful and speak not only to all the “letters” in GLBTQIA+ but also all peoples. She excludes no one!

No matter gay, straight, or bi
Lesbian, transgendered life
I’m on the right track, baby
I was born to survive
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made
I’m on the right track, baby
I was born to be brave

Here is the version I picked out…. Continue reading

GAY PRIDE MONTH; Day Twenty-Seven, What Fifty Years of Gay Pride Means to Me


It Was Fifty Years Ago Today!

by BG “Ben” Thomas

“I got in an argument just recently with a young man in a club who just flat out denied that it had ever been illegal to be gay. He simply did not know that when I was his age, when I was just coming out, it was a felony. Every police department in every major city in this country had special sections whose sole purpose was to hunt down and imprison homosexuals—for consenting behavior between adults. That’s the reality I came out in.”

~~  Cleve Jones

Early in the morning on June 28th, 1969, in the Greenwich Village neighborhood of Manhattan, New York City, the police raided a bar called the Stonewall Inn. It happened all the time. Judy Garland, a gay diva, had just died on the 22nd. On top of that, the Stonewall had just been raided, and so everyone knew it was safe, at least for a while. Plus, they had made their payoffs to the police as well.

The Stonewall Inn was a bar that gay people could go to and dance, together, close. Touch. Maybe find love. Imagine, a world where it was illegal to be GLBTQ. Imagine a world where it was illegal to serve alcohol to gay people. A world where it was considered a mental illness. A world where there was no Will & Grace, or Ellen, or Love, Simon or Gay Straight Alliance clubs in high school or acceptance in any way. If you were queer, you either hid it even to yourself, or hid it from your opposite sex spouse and got sex secretly in parks or bathrooms (where you could be arrested and your life ruined) or you ran away to gay ghettos in San Francisco or New York’s Village.

And imagine in that dreaded world, imagine finding community, and finding a bar where you could touch a member of the same sex, where you could dance…. It must have been exhilarating! Liberating! Unifying! And that night, fifty years ago, the Stonewall Inn should have been safe.

I always knew I was different. I was just so sheltered; I didn’t know what the difference was. We didn’t talk about sex in my home. And sex was only talked about in school as in, “Doesn’t she have a great set of tits?!” I was well read and intelligent and yet I had no idea I was gay. It shocks me when men tell me they knew when they were gay that they were in first or second grade. I was so totally sexually unaware, that I didn’t know what I was feeling for guys was sexual. In retrospect, it’s pretty ridiculous that I didn’t know, but I was that sheltered.  Continue reading

GAY PRIDE MONTH, Day Six: The Effect That AIDS Has Had On My Life

In 2008, I wrote the following post in my Live Journal (does anyone remember Live Journal?). A lot of people reacted to it and so I updated it and reposted it in 2017, and then, knowing full well that I can’t spend the month focusing on Gay Pride and not talk about AIDS. So I’ve looked at that essay again, and sharing it with you once once more….

When I was barely twenty-one, I dated this beautiful high-school boy. Oh, my! He was so pretty, you wanted to cry. Lovely eyes, and golden-brown hair and a beautiful heart to match. Don’t worry, he told me he was legal, although just barely. I fell head-over-heels in…limerence. I knew even then that I wasn’t in-love yet, but with a little time…it was easily heading that direction and it could have turned into love with ease.

His name was David (Greeknameopolis). We met in the Walden Bookstore I was working in. I was at the register and it looked to me like some kid was sneaking a look at a Playboy or something, which we weren’t supposed to let kids do. And he looked like a kid, believe me!

I sorta snuck up behind him to my surprise, it was Playgirl he was looking at! Not Playboy! Before I could say a word, I got a look at him and well, he took my breath away… Young, but not a kid. A true vital young man. So instead of kicking him out of the store, I whispered, “If you give me the money, I’ll buy that for you…”

He looked up at me (yes, up!) with those big doe eyes and with a trembling voice said Continue reading

GAY PRIDE MONTH, Day One: Fifty Years of Gay Pride!

Fifty years ago this month gay people finally said, “No!” The Stonewall Inn was raided once again and a bunch of drag queens and butch dykes said, “No!”

It turned into a riot that wound up lasting for five days. Fifty years ago the gay rights movement really began. Because it was with fists and fire and shouting and fighting back. Thank goodness the seeds had been planted earlier with groups like Mattachine Society and Daughters of Bilitis. But it wasn’t until blood was shed, police blood, that gay and lesbian people let the world know that we had had enough.

In honor of that, this month, I am going to be making a number of posts of essays I’m writing, posts of personal experiences, and re-posts from other sources!

Long live all people and long live us telling those who don’t like us, “We’re here! We’re queer! Get used to it!”

And I will start things by posting pictures from Gay Pride here in Kansas City, which is my husband Noah’s very first Gay Pride. Noah and Iwere both so sad that out husband “R” had to work (his work shift is nights now, and the first weekend of the month is mandatory overtime), but he gave his blessing for us to go.

Thank you, “R!” We love you!  Continue reading

To Every Mother and Everyone Who Has Mothered: HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.
~ Tenneva Jordan

The phrase “working mother” is redundant.
~ Jane Sellman

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.
~ Rajneesh

I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.
~ Abraham Lincoln

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
~ Ambrose Bierce

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible.
~ Marion C. Garretty

Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease.
~ Lisa Alther

I love my mother as the trees love water and sunshine – she helps me grow, prosper, and reach great heights.
~ Adabella Radici

[A] mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled.
~ Emily Dickinson

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.
~ Washington Irving

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone out there who is a Mother, by whatever means that they mother. You are beautiful and the world revolves around You.

BG “Ben” Thomas

PS: That’s my Mom and me in the middle!

In This Life…Please Keep Looking for the Silver Lining!

Today a friend of mine sent me a link that turned out to be titled, “Dad Charged With Intentionally Shooting 2-Year-Old Son In The Face With A Shotgun.”

I was stunned. And I did not read it. But I did ask him why he sent it to me.

His answer was, “I sent it to a lot of people. Because people need to see the reality of what’s going on in the world.”

And when I asked him why people needed to know about his “reality,” he responded with, “What are you 5? Sorry I sent it to you!”

I could only say, “WTF?”

His reply: “Why why why? Lol, that’s why I asked that. I just sent out a mass text. I think it’s sad and crazy how our world is getting. I just read yesterday at least three cases of kids killing their parents. And a 5 year old boy where I live was killed by his parents. And now one about these kids killed their parents video games!!!!

My reply was this….  . Continue reading