My Birthday 2021!

I got a wonderful wonderful surprise last night. “R” and Noah took me to my favorite restaurant in Kansas City for my birthday last night, Le Fou Frog (the Crazy Frenchman). A French restaurant, it it quiet mind-bogglingly delicious place to eat. Nirvana. The food is quite sensuously good.

I had a beautiful lavender cocktail, then we had cheesy scallops, plus octopus to begin with, and OMG! Octopus has always been chewy in my experience. But this was Le Fou Frog and they would ever present anything like that, so I tried it … and … O!M!G!

I wish I could even begin to let you know what it was like. I mean, sensuous is a good word! First, you could cut it with a fork, and I don’t mean the side of it. And it was not chewy, It was as dense as say, chicken (?) but tasted nothing like it. It was prepared with bacon, but that flavor didn’t overwhelm it. And it was very rich, almost too rich and I wasn’t able to finish my entrée because of it, but that’s okay. I have leftovers.

Speaking of entrée, I had roast rabbit. My experience with rabbit hasn’t been that good either, but once again I thought, this is Le Fou Frog! And yes, it was utterly and completely delicious! SO good. R wasn’t very hungry and had French onion soup, and Noah had a mushroom cheese ravioli that was very mushroom-ie. All so so so so so good!

It turned out since it was my birthday I got a free dessert, so even though Noah had made me a VERY low Point dessert for my birthday, I thought, what the hell? It is Le Fou Frog! So I had the crème brûlée and he had chocolate pasty, both with ice cream.

All in all I am still reeling thinking of the flavors and textures and layers of how incredibly good it was. So special thanks to my husbands for such a wonderful meal. It was a delight and feast of the senses.

See the AMAZING Food by Clicking Here

The Three Bears Holiday Tree 2020

Our Yule / Christmas Tree 2020! It turned out quite beautiful despite some set-backs, chief of which that a full two weeks before Christmas, stores were stripped of ornaments, trees, and more. This made me sad because pretty much all the ornaments belong to “R” and me, representing years and years of collecting and lots of memories. But when Noah came to live with us, he didn’t bring any. In fact, he didn’t have any at all!

We wanted the tree to represent him as well, and we did find a few. And then I began think, that’s all right! R and I collected ours over years, and now Noah can too. We’re not planning on him being anywhere else besides with us! So we will have many years to collect ornaments for Noah!

A holiday tree, as far as I am concerned, takes more than one day to finish. Days and days even. You make sure to put a set amount of ornaments on the tree the first day, and then in the coming days you keep hopping up and putting on more and more, especially when you see…. “Oh look, there’s a space that isn’t decorated!”

So that’s what happened over three days or so. More ornaments. More ornaments. More ornaments.

Finally, the tree is nearly done, although I am sure to put one or two or more on the tree over the next week. And this post has a whole bunch of pictures of our ornaments. Take a look.

I hope you enjoy!

Happy Holidays!
BG “Ben” Thomas

To See a WHOLE Lot More of Our Tree, Click Here

Good Morning World, and a Very Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving even if you don’t live in the United States. Because we should always take a moment to pause and think of all we have to be grateful for. Where our attention goes, energy flows. And I for one would like to focus on all that I have, instead of all that I don’t, especially today.

And wow, I have so much! I have a home. Me and my companions have cars. We are essential workers (somehow) and we all have jobs. Therefor we have the money to pay our bills, and don’t have to fear for loss of water or heat or lights. My job gives me a means to take care of my shoulder injury. We have food, and lots of it. We are going to have to put the leaf in the table to get it all set out.

I have wonderful, wondrous family. Family by blood (I am so grateful for my beautiful daughter, Jayli), and family of choice. I have my family of R and Noah. Today our dear, dear friend Will is joining us for dinner, and Will is certainly family. Wonderful. And of course, we have our furry family, Oliver and Frodo (and Frodo, after a year and a half seems to finally be getting friendly!). And I am grateful for my friends in social media and my loyal readers who have stuck with me even though I haven’t written anything in a year. I have faith that will change next year!

My husband R has built shelving on our back porch that is going to allow us to take some of the vast clutter in the house and move it to a logical place where we can find things when looking for them.

We have our health in a time where so many don’t. I pray for all those, including R’s uncle’s family who is now without a father. R’s cousin is finally out of his coma but has a long long way to recovery.

I am so thankful for dear friends (that family of choice). Friends like Linnea and Will and Cricket and so many more. I could list them forever and not finish.

I am thankful for the fact that we have a new president and vice president who care about me. Who care about the country. Who want to undo all the damage that has been done. Who will protect me and my family and GLBT people. That I don’t have to worry about my marriage and so many of my marriage rights being stripped away from me. A president who is going to get us through this Covid nightmare. Who is going to rejoin WHO and restore our leadership on the world stage, end the Muslim ban, get back with NATO, and plans on passing hate crime legislation. It’s so nice to have hope instead of living in dread what Trump will do next.

I am grateful to be alive. That I did not wake up in a hospital or prison this morning. That I am with the two men I love, and we’ve had biscuits and gravy for breakfast and that we are together preparing a feast for today’s dinner. I am thankful for this and so much more and will edit this as more and more things come to mind.

I hope that you have a lot to be grateful for as well.
Bless you all from the depths of my heart,
B.G. “Ben” Thomas


The Night Before Thanksgiving in the Three Bears Den

Look What Noah Made! This big this big thick wonderful from scratch apple pie! I helped on the crust! So pretty! I don’t know if you can see the little leaves along the edge of the crust, but there is no missing the bigger ones. I can’t wait for dessert tomorrow! Also, he made home made, from scratch, cranberry sauce. There are no lines for us know where to cut our serving–LOL!–but we’ll figure it out.


A Glorious Return to Camp Gaea Retreat Center! (for one day)

And now a post about gratitude and joy.

What it’s all about is the end of Noah’s birthday weekend and how wonderful it was—for me if for no one else.
What Noah wanted for his birthday—because there really isn’t much that he wants and when there is, he gets it himself, T-shirts and such—was to be out in nature. And somehow, I was lucky enough to procure three of the 60 slots that allowed us to spend Sunday at Camp Gaea Retreat Center. For those not in the know, that is the camp where Midwest Men’s Festival is held each year. Camp Gaea is under a soft opening (finally) and what that means I you can’t be there during the week unless you are a volunteer doing specific pre-arranged work, and you can’t rent a cabin at all, and there are only 60 people allowed on property on Saturday and Sunday. Somehow there were exactly three cancellations for Sunday…and we got to Continue reading


This is not something that I like to do…

My daughter Jayli Thomas is in need. I am not sure if l myself have ever asked for anything like this before, but I am sharing her GoFundMe with you now. Her beloved cat Dexter, the cat that got her through the death of her mother, is sick and needs a rather expensive operation. She can’t afford it and I can do little to help with my reduced hours at work due to recovering from my surgery.

Jayli has had many cats in her life, but nothing and…. no one like her beloved cat Dexter. I think it would be proper to say that Dexter is her Soul Cat, and I sure understand a bond like that. People who have known me for even a couple years know of my beloved Sarah Jane.

If you can give even $5 it would mean so much.

Love and light,


UPDATE: Whoa!! Somebody anonymously donated $2000 to my daughter, Jayli, to save her cat. I cannot believe it. Two thousand dollars. It’s unbelievable! I’m sitting here, tears running down my face….. Thank you! Thank you whoever you are!! And all who helped!!

Click Here to Help!:

Happy Autumn, Peaceful Autumnal Equinox, and Bright Mabon Blessings

“And all at once, summer collapsed into fall.”
~~ Oscar Wilde

It’s a lovely time of year and what I will focus on. It is a time of change, and change can be good. I’m calling on the good and I pray for it for you as well. I don’t like the cold. But I like cuddling and autumn colors.

My Pagan friends celebrate this day as Mabon, and the Autumn Equinox divides the day and night equally, and we can all take a moment to pay our respects to the impending dark and give thanks to the waning sunlight, as we store our harvest of this year’s crops. According to “The Celtic Connection,” the Druids call this celebration, Mea’n Fo’mhair, and honor the Green Man, the God of the Forest, by offering libations to trees. Offerings of ciders, wines, herbs and fertilizer are appropriate at this time. Wiccans celebrate the aging Goddess as she passes from Mother to Crone, and her consort the God as he prepares for death and re-birth.

Did you know that Fall leaf colors actually exist all year long? Leaves come in all different colors including yellow and orange and purple and red, but we normally see they as green most of the year because chlorophyll is produced more in the summer months. As the Earth tilts, they get less sunlight and therefor the chlorophyll production goes down and the natural colors of the leaves comes through!

Did you know Fall isn’t caused by the Earth’s distance from the sun? That’s right. Fall, like all of the seasons, is caused by the Earth’s tilt in relation to the sun. It gets warmer in each hemisphere when that hemisphere tilts toward the sun and colder when it leans away.

Fall is only “Fall” to Americans, even though the term was coined in Britain. The word “harvest” was used until the 1300’s, but sometime after, poets coined the phrase “the fall of leaves” — shortened to “Fall” in the 1600s. The word “autumn” still remained popular throughout England’s period of colonizing the world. The lack of consistent communication between the English and the people in the American colonies led to differences in the language. By the mid-1800s, the word “fall” had firmly rooted itself in America.

I suspect one day soon I’ll be running around taking lots of pictures, if I can get them. Autumn often lasts about a week here in KC—LOL!—because it will be just starting to turn colors and then a big storm will hit and all the leaves will be gone. But those couple days?


I hope that your day and your season are filled with blessings and that the changes will be the best ever!
BG “Ben” Thomas
I got some of my information from here!:
CNN Travel: “The first day of fall is here. Here are 5 things you probably didn’t know.”
By Cassandra Santiago and Amanda Barnett CLICK HERE
The Celtic Connection: “Mabon” CLICK HERE

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to the GLBTQ+ Heroes and Allies!!

To Harvey Milk, Cleve Jones, Roma Guy, Harry Hay, Barbara Gittings, Anne Kronenberg, Dan Nicoletta, Ed Wolf, Harvey Fierstein, Pat Norman, Armistead Maupin, Edie Windsor, James Broughton , Eileen Glutzer, Cecilia Chung, Tom Ammiano, Sally Gearhart, Chad Griffin, Sylvia Rivera, Aaron Fricke, Allen Ginsberg, Larry Kramer, Rita Mae Brown, Marsha P. Johnson, Christine Jorgensen, Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, and all those who have done so much for our rights, for those who continue to fighting for those rights, for those who held our hands when we died and who risked their lives and who nursed us back to health, who ran organizations, who came out and risked their jobs and careers, for those who were examples, for the unnamed, and for those who have passed on before us.

Never forget.
Happy Pride!

To Every Mother and Everyone Who Has Mothered: HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.
~ Tenneva Jordan

The phrase “working mother” is redundant.
~ Jane Sellman

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.
~ Rajneesh

I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.
~ Abraham Lincoln

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
~ Ambrose Bierce

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible.
~ Marion C. Garretty

Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease.
~ Lisa Alther

I love my mother as the trees love water and sunshine – she helps me grow, prosper, and reach great heights.
~ Adabella Radici

[A] mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled.
~ Emily Dickinson

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.
~ Washington Irving

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone out there who is a Mother, by whatever means that they mother. You are beautiful and the world revolves around You.

BG “Ben” Thomas

PS: That’s my Mom and me in the middle!

🐻🐻🐻 Today is National HUG a Bear Day!! 🐻🐻🐻

No! Really. It is!

Of course this happened to honor our furry stuffed animal friends that got us through many a rough or tough or sad situation growing up…our teddy bears (or their equivalent).

Through scary nights or hospital stays or life tragedies we had trouble understanding, our teddies always lent an ear and were there to hug no matter what.

And during this time of year where we reflect on all we have to be thankful for, and on this day, National Hg a Bear Day, I am thankful for bears.

The kind l cuddled when Continue reading