So this is a little video that my husband R put together for me a few years ago.

What you are seeing is the path outside our cabin during the Midwest Men’s Festival. You can watch this and take a lovely walk through our camp outside out cabin and see the sarongs we sell as a community service (we’ve asked if we should stop and were threatened with our lives–LOL!)

This video makes me smile and tear up a little. You can see Sarah Jane wandering here and there and relaxing in the shade.

Many of the days temperatures reach the nineties and even lower 100s. Therefor, wearing as little as possible is the thing to do! Sarongs are the choice of outerwear and we’ve taken to selling them for really cheap prices, just enough to try and break even. We buy them, making sure there is only one of each because, after all, no one wants to be wearing the same thing as someone else! This is gay men after all! LOL!

Midwest Men’s Festival was the inspiration for my novel, “Summer Lover.” The main character finds a couple of men who do just what we do. Sell sarongs. At first he’s too chicken to get one. He sees it as wearing a dress and that is the LAST thing he’s going to do. But with a little encouragement, he does buy one and finds out how freeing it really is.

I hope you enjoy!
Peace and Love,
BG “Ben” Thomas



First I showed him the fourth season episode Stand Up For Ourselves, which is the episode in which Michael and Emmett go to a gay Radical Faerie gathering. I recommend it to everyone who is curious about Midwest Men’s Festival. They aren’t the same, but the episode is close. Then we watched the Pilot, this time on Amazon, and I was infuriated that they changed all the music to horrible stuff, just horrible! That means no Proud by Heather Small, nor the hot remake of Let’s Hear it for the Boy.

But I am happy to report that Noah seemed to like them! More episodes when we get home?

Screen caps from the episode Stand Up For Ourselves are beyond the clip and below. Be careful! One is VERY not safe for work!


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It was one year ago that Noah Willoughby came to live with us. Boy, had that been a hell of a week too! Stressful beyond words!

First I was in terror that he’d change his mind! I was in fear that he would realize he’d made a terrible mistake and was going to decide he wanted to stay with his ex in Hawaii. I was stressed he’d miss his plane and how complicated that would be because coincidentally, a year ago today was right before we were heading to Midwest Men’s Festival and there we would be at a campground with no WiFi and really no cellphone reception so how would we even know when/if he was coming?

Then the REAL true stress was that R had some health issues and was in the hospital! Scary stuff that turned out to all be okay, but it was the first time that R had been in the hospital instead of me. It is quite a thing to be on the other side! And that also meant we thought I was going to have to go get Noah from the airport without R, and while I could do that, we’d wanted the magick of us both picking him up. And of course we didn’t know when he’d get out of the hospital and how that would effect him going to MMF!

As to the why it’s a coincidence that this was also a year ago before we were going to MMF, you have to understand the dates move around. The way you figure out when MMF is, is that you find the last Thursday of the month of July and that is the last day/10th day of Festival. Ten days before is the first day. So last year and this years MMF winds up in the middle of the month. Next year it will be the last ten days of the month exactly.

Anyway, all those naysayers who said the Three Bears would never last were — W.R.O.N.G. — wrong! We have grown strong and we will be around a long time to come and I am happier than I’ve ever been and I know it is safe to say…we are all!

Love and Peace
BG “Ben” Thomas


Two more days! YES! And well… To be accurate it really is four…. MMF officially starts at noon on Tuesday, but for many many years now we’ve been going early. Or at least I have.

To explain, we would go and set up our camp sight on the Saturday or Sunday before Festival. We sell sarongs there because it is hot hot HOT this time of year and it’s too hot to wear much of anything, and despite the photo below and the set of photos that landed me in Facebook jail, we’re not a naturist/nudist event (although there are a handful…. Continue reading


One of the things I love about Festival is the night. It’s different than the city, even though I live in midtown, and am not surrounded by big buildings. I am still surrounded by city lights.

Out at Camp, in the middle of nowhere, the night is beautiful! So quiet. Well, of city sounds. It is filled by the Children of the Night! Frogs and owls, night birds, crickets and the yip-yip-yipping of coyotes.

The stars! Oh, the stars! You can see Scorpio and Cassiopeia and sometimes I can find Taurus, and of course, the Big Dipper. And…the Belt of the Milky Way across the sky!

And this year, Festival *starts* with a Full Moon! You can bet there will be a Ritual as well.

Years ago, at one of the first events R and I ever went to out at Camp Gaea, there was a full moon. We were at the big Talent Show and I needed to run by our campsite. I was shocked when I got there! That moon! OMG! I could actually, literally, read by moonlight! I looked up at it in the sky and felt awe and reverence and I knew why the moon had been worshiped.

As luck would have it, I had purchased a Thoth statue—as far as I know the only male deity of the moon—and I cast my sarong aside and danced naked in the silver white light of the moonlight in his/her honor.

I was never the same.

This year, I will honor the moon again. And the stars. And the owls and crickets and coyotes and nature.

And my fellow men. Maybe I’ll see some of you there!

Gentle Ben

Something WONDERFUL Happened Tonight!

I got to have dinner with my daughter through my ex-husband. While he and I were together, some dear friends, a lesbian couple, came to me and asked if I would…donate…so they could have a baby. And they wanted me involved in the child’s life.

I said no. But for a very “good” reason. I already had a child. But my husband, who longed for one of his own, did not. This seemed like the perfect solution. “D” became the genetic father. And a beautiful baby was born with four parents.

Sadly, neither relationship worked, the four parents went our separate ways, and because same-sex marriage was not legal, I had absolutely no rights and l thought I would never see her again. It was heartbreaking.

Then, to my surprise, several years ago, she reached out to me! With approval of the moms! And it’s been wonderful!

Her name is Jessy and she is amazing! Intelligent, witty, loving and kind, and beautiful! And gosh, her children! Also, beautiful and a delight.

Jessy lives in Michigan, so I don’t get to see her often. Every few years. But each time is better than the last. She really wanted to meet R and Noah this time, but R had to work, and we leave for Men’s Festival this weekend. But she got to meet Noah and he loved her.

And she even made a vegetarian dish for Noah! Did I say she is fabulous? She is!

I asked her all kinds of questions and tried to catch up. I’m so very proud of her and hope to see her soon.

I love you, Jessy! And thank you for a wonderful evening.

❤ ❤ ❤