A VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

BEN: My husband and I would like to make the official announcement that we have asked Noah Willoughby to become a part of our family and our lives. And to our joy…

NOAH:  …I have happily accepted.

BEN: I am sure some of you have pieced it together, but there were many complications that had to be worked through before we could say anything official.

NOAH: The most important thing was that I made a brief trip to Washington over the 4th of July to talk with my family about all of this. I wanted them to hear it from me and not find out through Facebook or gossip.

BEN: Noah and I first met online through Twitter around four years ago. We instantly became friends and to our surprise, the friendship quickly grew and grew until we realized we were developing feelings for each other. This was weird to me. For years I thought it was kind of silly that people could fall in love online without ever meeting. And here I was, becoming the person I had thought was silly. But there was no denying how I…

NOAH: …how we felt.

BEN:  So we immediately told our spouses.

R was happy for me. He knew these feelings were no threat to us—me and R. He knew—because of the vows we took on November 5th, 2005—that I wasn’t going anywhere. He also knew that there were many things in life that I really wanted and needed that he was just not able to give me. He is a loner, as I have said, who needs a lot of alone time. I am very social and it hurt that I had to do so many things alone: movies, exhibits, parties, church, etc. And while I had friends to do these things with, I longed to share them with someone I loved. And R gave his blessing for me to go with my feelings for Noah. It made him happy that Noah was able to give me something that he couldn’t.

NOAH: Ed and I had met when I was 19, and I was just beginning to discover myself. I thought I knew what I wanted, but I was a naïve kid. When I met Ben, I was doing a lot of soul-searching and trying to find out who I was. Ed and I still very much loved each other and cared for each other, but we were drifting apart. It wasn’t the same happy relationship we had started out with. We tried very hard to make it work. But, there were things Ed just couldn’t provide for me, things that I wanted and needed, and I realized they were things Ben could. My feelings for Ben grew stronger.

BEN: We knew that the time had come for us to meet face to face. I have seen it with my friends too often. Falling for someone online, and then moving lock stock and barrel across country, only to find out that 24 hours to a week after, they couldn’t stand each other in the Real World. Noah and I needed to find out if this was real love or just an online fantasy. So last year, we met at a writer’s workshop. And the second he stepped out of his rental car, I was nearly knocked backward off me feet. By weekend’s end, I knew without any shadow of a doubt that I was truly in love with Noah.

NOAH: I kept thinking that if the feelings were just a crush and would fade away, I’d still have Ben as a true friend and we would continue to help each other out with writing and research and keep in touch and chat and share feelings. I never expected that just seeing Ben there after stepping out of the car would be one of the most powerful experiences I’d ever had. And as we spent time together in person, talking, learning about each other and sharing the experience of the workshop, I knew this wasn’t just a fleeting crush.

BEN: It is very important to say that through it all Noah and I stayed honest and obeyed the rules set forth by our spouses. And during that weekend we did no more that touch hands under a table. We were chaste.

NOAH: Ben and I knew that this couldn’t be just a once a year meeting at the workshop. We needed more than just talking on the phone and texting. We needed to visit each other again. We were trying to work out a situation where I could visit Kansas City a few times a year.

BEN:  Now here is the really life-is-more-surprising-than-fiction part. R saw that Noah was not a flash in the pan and, in one form or another, was going to be around for years to come. So he figured he’d better get to know this young man. He asked if I minded that the two of them get to know each other. I immediately said I would love that. I’d wanted that for a couple of years. He contacted Noah and the two began to chat and … wow! They began to develop feelings for each other! “You didn’t tell me he was so wonderful!”

NOAH: With the relationship between me and Ed already fading, he realized that he couldn’t provide the things I needed in my life. Despite all of our efforts to keep our partnership going, Ed couldn’t handle it any longer and decided it would be best for us to end it.

BEN: This meant we clearly had to finally spend a week together to discover, in the Real World, how we felt about being around each other.

NOAH: Living in Hawaii is very expensive, especially for just one person, and living back on the mainland seemed to be the best solution.

BEN: In something out of a romance novel, our week together in April was amazing. Beyond amazing. Within 24 hours it was as if the three of us had been together for years. Interacting, doing things together, cooking meals together, communicating. No jealousies. It was like some choregraphed dance!

The horrible part then was Noah having go to back to Hawaii. R and I were ready for him to stay forever, and he wanted to. But he had all these things he needed to do first to officially end one part of his life so that we could start the next part of all of our lives.

NOAH: It was one of the hardest decisions to make, but I think, in the end, it will be best for everyone.

BEN & NOAH: Above all we did everything right. We never cheated or broke rules. The three of us happened not because of any wrongdoings. We simply fell in love.

BEN: We have already said far more than we really wanted to. This is our private lives. However, writers are in the lime light. And we have family and friends. People were going to find out. And many had already been guessing. Just as Noah didn’t want his family to find out through online gossip and such, we didn’t want people to find out about our new Triad the same way. We thought we should say something.

NOAH: I will be flying to Kansas City this Friday to live with Ben and R. I wish Ed the best and hope we will find a way to maintain a very good friendship. Even though the relationship between us didn’t work out like we wished and worked hard for, we still love each other and wish to try and remain on friendly terms.

BEN: So now, except for a post or two, we are “going into seclusion.” We will be going to my beloved Midwest Men’s Festival and pretty much be incommunicado for two weeks. That definition being, “not able, wanting, or allowed to communicate with other people.” It’s the best thing. We three need to be together and away from the Real World and electronics and Facebook and all that goes with it.

BEN & NOAH: We hope that we have the world’s support in the life we have decided to pursue. There is too little love in this scary dark world today and we have been granted BIG love and are grabbing hold and running with it.

Peace and Love to You all!
The Three Bears

PS: I want to make it clear that the reason R isn’t one of the voices here is introverted/private nature. He gave full approval of this post but did not want to add his comments. ❤

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FURRY FRIDAY: If One Beard is Hawt, Three Are Even Better

I love bearded men. And I have done posts with pictures of men, and I’ve done posts with pictures of more than one man, and I’ve even done at least one on couples. And then I thought, hey, why not three? Because where one or two bearded men are hot, three are even better. And here are examples of men in threes: they are friends, lovers, and just random hot men in threes. Let me know what you think! Continue reading

Another Article on Gay Polyamory: Three Gay Men Living Together in a Three-Way Relationship Explain How it Works

Here is another post I found—this one from Gay Star News—on a successful gay triad. I thought it had lots interesting information, if only for those of you who want to write an MMM novel. Except this one a real romance! I also like these three men, like in other articles I have re-posted here are just regular men and not gorgeous models or porn stars. You can find the original article by clicking RIGHT HERE.

Three Gay Men Living Together in a Three-Way Relationship Explain How it Works

How they met, how they make it work, and how their families have reacted to the arrangement


Triad; Threesome; Polyamorous relationship: Whatever you wish to call it, real-life examples of three men living and sleeping with one another in committed relationships remain pretty rare.

Although many people may have dabbled with sex with more than one person at the same time, actually committing one’s self to two others is considered far from the norm.

However, it’s that concept of ‘the norm’ that soon gets turned on its head when you meet Louis, David and Sam.

The three men (who have asked GSN not use their surnames) have been in a committed three-way relationship for the past year.

I ring the buzzer of their apartment in North London with some apprehension. I’ve interviewed many gay couples in the past but this is my first ‘thruple’ (as Sam refers to them). I wanted to ask some pretty personal questions: Would they be shy? Would they get offended?

I needn’t have worried. Sat side-by-side on a sofa – relaxed, jovial and talkative – they immediately put me at ease. They also laugh. A lot. Transcribing my interview afterwards was a challenge in picking out the words through the guffaws and gentle ribbing of each other.

‘When people think of threesomes,’ said Sam, playing with Brusky, their Chocolate Labrador, ‘they immediately think raunchiness and sex. Then they meet us and spend time with us and quickly say, “This all seems really normal”.’

It’s true. I very quickly regard them as one unit, in the same way I might view a couple as their own, distinct entity: Individuals, yet bonded.

David, 54, and Louis, 47, have been together for seven years. Louis heralds from Hong Kong but had been living in the UK. He’d been due to return to Asia, but those plans changed when he met David – originally from Israel.

They quickly moved in with one another and threw themselves into building a life together in London.

Around a year ago, they mutually decided that they would look around for a third person.

‘We came to a bit of a hold in our relationship,’ says David. They were still committed to one another and were planning on marrying, but they decided to entertain the idea of allowing someone else to join them. Whether this was a semi-regular ‘friend with benefits’ or something more was undecided.

‘We’d been monogamous. And then we started looking for other encounters,’ says Louis.

They experimented with threesomes, but, says David, ‘something was missing. It wasn’t really working for me.’

‘I wasn’t looking for a couple. It was the last thing I wanted.’

Then they met Sam, aged 28. It was at London bears night, Brut. They gave Sam a ride home that night and arranged to meet up again a week later. It was Sam’s first experience of a threesome – and they all immediately hit it off.

They very quickly fell into hanging out with one another.

‘It was very much like dating,’ says Sam, reflecting on those early days. ‘I wasn’t looking for a couple. It was the last thing I wanted. I wanted a monogamous relationship. That’s all I ever wanted, really.’

David and Louis say that finding Sam was a surprise. Not only was he younger than they were planning (‘We thought we’d find a guy in his 40s – but you don’t choose who you get along with,’ says David), he was also not shy of staking his own space in an established relationship.

‘I made it clear very soon, it was all or nothing,’ says Sam, signaling he wasn’t willing to take a ‘junior’ role and was not looking to be just ‘fuck buddies’.

‘I gave them that choice and they chose,’ says Sam.

Fortunately, they all wanted the same thing; to be together; Sam duly moved in within four weeks.

The first few weeks were marked by uncertainties and insecurities

Despite a shared aim, the early months were far from plain sailing.

‘It was very messy,’ emphasizes Louis. ‘There’s a lot of jealousy and a lot of having to adjust. Everyone’s looking out to see if they’re missing out on attention or affection. There were a lot of arguments in the early days.

‘It was,’ he chuckles, ‘a bit of a mind-fuck!’

This is where it sounds a little different from a more conventional relationship – which can begin with a honeymoon period and evolve into rows and bickering. The three of them say that the first few weeks were marked by uncertainties and insecurities, often leading to outbursts of emotion.

‘We had to quickly adapt a whole new, very different dynamic,’ says Louis of his relationship with David.

‘And then we both had to work out our relationships with Sam,’ adds David. ‘Testing each others boundaries, working out someone’s limits, it’s all part of being in a new relationship with someone, but it’s more intense and complicated when there are three of you.’

The men decided to initially pledge themselves to staying together for three months; not bail out, whatever arguments arose. This gave them the space to be open and honest with one another, reasonably safe in the knowledge that nothing anyone said would lead to someone else throwing in the towel.

After the first three months, they committed to six months. After six months, they say things became much easier. It may have helped that they also moved into a new apartment, which they redesigned around their new relationship: One very big bed for them all to sleep in, three large wardrobes and a big shower unit with enough space for them all.

Louis works in IT, Sam is a video producer and David works in education and is training to be a counselor.

They say their relationship is helped by the fact they have shared interests. They all love photography and filmmaking, and have turned one room into a studio and creative workspace. They’re also, as you might guess, regular gym buddies.

‘And we do have a lot of sex,’ laughs Sam – but only with each other. They all agreed early on that they would be ‘monogamous’ to the relationship. At first, they decided to only have sex as a threesome. Now, they tend to have sex together, but also sometimes pair off.

‘My daughter, who is 30, was unsure at first when she found out’

They’re not ashamed or embarrassed about their chosen relationship. In fact, they’re refreshingly matter-of-fact. They even have a joint Instagram profile. Work colleagues and friends are aware, although breaking the news to wider family has not been easy.

‘Some family members know. My daughter, who is 30, was unsure at first when she found out,’ says David. ‘She was thinking ahead as to how she might explain it to her children.’

‘But she’s come around now,’ says Sam. ‘She invited us all to her wedding in January, and we all went and it was all fine – it was really nice.’

Sam is from the UK, but of Middle Eastern descent. Being openly gay is not easy, but he’s long since decided that the closet was not an option for him. Telling his mother about his two new boyfriends was – as you may imagine – more difficult.

‘She didn’t take it well,’ he admits. ‘I think at first she was horrified at me taking up with these two older guys. She thought they were just going to use and abuse me and take advantage. However, she came around. She met them and realized they are nice guys.

‘We spent Christmas with her and it was all fine. I can actually leave these two with her and go out and not have to worry – she likes them.’

‘Your mother completely surprised us,’ says Louis. ‘She’s been OK and has made a really great effort and she is lovely.’

Louis says that his brother and sister know about the arrangement and are OK about it, but that it’s not something he feels inclined to raise with other family members in Hong Kong, who would be unlikely to react with the same acceptance.

What of the future? Threesomes, when they exist, don’t have a good reputation for lasting. Is that a concern?

‘Any relationship faces challenges and couples often split up. Who knows what will happen,’ shrugs David.

‘Yes, Sam is younger, and I was very, very worried that our relationship might stop him from enjoying life or he would feel restricted so we promised him, any time he wants to go, any time he feels he’s missing out, he can go. In ten years time I’ll be 64, and he’ll only be 38….’ he trails off.

‘I hear this all the time!’ laughs Sam, rolling his eyes, and indicating it’s a discussion that has come up previously. ‘I don’t feel that I need anything more. Even though I’m quite young, I’m definitely relationship-oriented. This is good. I don’t need a thousand different experiences of sleeping with other people. This works.’

At the end of the day, isn’t that what matters? For now, for these three men, it works, so who is anyone else to judge?

‘Before we were a couple. Now it feels like this is my family,’ says David, looking over with affection and pride at Sam and Louis.

‘There are certain rules of behavior that should be agreed between all three parties’

And would they have any advice for anyone else thinking of opening up their relationship or exploring the same sort of three-way arrangement?

‘Talk about everything,’ says David. ‘If something is on your mind, bring it up.’

‘You need to set rules,’ adds Louis. We made rules and then re-made them. Keep talking about things. There are certain rules of behavior and conduct that should be agreed between all three parties. And they should be maintained.

‘Also, if someone else is going to join the relationship, they really have to be worth it and they must be pretty easy-going,’ he adds.

‘It’s definitely not for everyone,’ adds David.

‘But it’s never boring!’ laughs Sam.

Kobo
Kobo

My Advice for People Considering Polyamory

Polyamory won’t fix your problems or save your relationship, but it may help you grow.

Jeff Leavell
Sep 7 2016, 11:00pm

I have been with my husband, Alex, for four and a half years. And our boyfriend, Jon, has been with us for a year and a half.

Before I found myself in one, I resisted the idea of a polyamorous relationship—I made fun of my friends who were in “triads.” I thought the whole concept was ridiculous. But when we met Jon, my perspective shifted.

As Jon entered our life, Alex and I tried to control the situation as best we could. We agreed to only text him in a group, so everyone could see everything we discussed with him, while Alex and I maintained our own separate conversations. Alex and I would confer together on the major decisions of our relationship, and then we would bring the results of those deliberations to Jon.

Basically, we tried to treat a relationship developing between three people like it was developing between two, with Alex and I as one party and Jon as the other. This, of course, is untenable. Equality is essential to making relationships work. If we were really going to do this new thing with Jon, Alex and I would have to change how our own relationship operated. But I had no role models to teach me how to do this thing—a problem I hope to address in writing about our relationship publicly.

People reach out to me all the time with questions about open and polyamorous relationships based on pieces I’ve written. A disproportionate number of them revolve around jealousy and insecurity: How do you avoid becoming jealous if your partner is sleeping with other men?

I’ve found that if I ever feel jealousy, the root of that emotion almost always comes from not feeling good enough for Jon or Alex. Jealousy always equals insecurity for me.

And jealousy is normal—it happens all the time, no matter what kind of relationship you’re in. It’s part of being human. But at the end of the day, it’s how we react to that jealousy that matters. I constantly have to remind myself to shift the focus of my thoughts back to me: What am I really afraid of? Why do I not believe I am deserving of all this love?

Falling in love with Jon—and watching Alex fall in love with Jon—taught me that there is more love out there in this world than I had ever imagined. But we struggled in the process. Three-way fucking is hot; three-way fighting is a nightmare.

Once, I received an email from a reader who had started dating a new guy with his partner. The three of them had their first fight, and he felt like his partner and their boyfriend were ganging up on him—had I ever experienced that?

Sure I had. In a relationship between three people, it is almost impossible for someone not to feel like the odd man out.

I remember a fight Jon, Alex, and I had in Vancouver. Alex was about to go away for six months to work on a TV show, and we were spending a few days together, just the three of us. We were on Granville Island, and I remember a moment where I caught their hands touching. It was a romantic and beautiful image, but for some reason, it made me feel jealous, insecure, and afraid that they were falling more in love with each other than they were with me. That’s when we started fighting, and though I can’t remember what we fought about, I’m sure I started it. Even though all I needed to do to feel included was reach out to hold their hands, I closed off, shut down, and created what I was afraid would happen.

Later that night, I pretended to fall out of bed (in reality, I threw myself onto the floor). I stormed out of the apartment we were renting and marched to the elevator, waiting for one of them to come stop me, to prove they loved me.

People often ask me how we handled “coming out” as a polyamorous couple to our family and friends. There’s no easy answer for that.

Alex and I introduced Jon to our family and friends at our wedding. It seemed, at the time, to be a good idea—everyone would be in one place at the same time, and we wanted Jon there, to be part of that experience with us.

Looking back, I can only imagine how hard that was for Jon, and for those closest to Alex and me. And today, my advice is to use caution and not open yourself up too quickly to the scrutiny and judgment of those who love you. While they may seem normal when you’re part of them, polyamorous relationships are far outside the norm, and it’s hard to expect everyone to just accept what we know: that love is vast, and that there are many ways to experience and express it. Polyamory scares people. For some, it challenges everything they believe to be true about love.

Once, someone told me I was proving every right-wing religious conservative’s wildest fears about gay people true—that we were all amoral sluts, incapable of monogamy or serious relationships, who couldn’t take marriage seriously. And this dude was gay. My response was: So what? Why can’t I live my life on my own terms? Isn’t that what we’re fighting so hard for—the right to live how we choose? To not have my love and sex dictated by some arbitrary social structure? Why should anybody tell me how and who to love?

Then, there is the ultimate question: With all the complications and struggles, why do it?

I don’t have a simple answer. I have been called greedy and selfish, even psychotic and monstrous. I don’t think I am those things. Maybe this is just part of my nature.

I don’t believe this kind of relationship is for everyone, and I don’t think that polyamory is better than monogamy, or vice versa. I just think we find what works best for us.

And I am happier this way. I am happier with Alex and Jon, and I am happier that we are in an open relationship, and I get to meet and spend time with other guys. I am happier knowing that Jon and Alex get to explore and play and fall in love, too.

Being poly will not save your relationship. It won’t solve any of your problems. Everything that scares you about it might come true. But it will also open doors inside you that you never knew existed—and it may even bring an opportunity to grow.

Follow Jeff Leavell on Twitter and Instagram.

UNBELIEVABLE DAY! IMPOSSIBLE DAY!

I Am Doing An Update!! What a stunning turn of events! Wow! Wow! Wow!

But first, I’m going to leave the first part of this post the same…..

Today was another big layoff where l work. And they let my supervisor, Lisa RaShid, go. And as l said, I am in shock. I’m numb.

A couple years ago l was deeply depressed, a hundred pounds overweight, and actually considered harming myself so l could get permanent disability so l wouldn’t have to go to work anymore. Much of this was due to The Evil Team Leader. If l had not done my 365 Days of Silver–one whole year of finding something positive every single day–I’m not sure what would have happened.

Then Lisa RaShid became my supervisor. And my world changed. I was so thrilled because she is about the most positive amazing person I’ve ever known. I knew things would change. And boy did they.

The first thing? And the thing that set me on my new path? Well l was complaining to her about The ETL and she stopped me and told me, “Ben! You have *got* to find a way to deal with him or it *is* going to kill you.” I was furious! Me? This man has *harassed* me for years! Something needed to be done about *him!* I was so mad l could have hit her and l had to turn and walk away.

But then…as l walked away…l heard a Voice. Call me crazy, but l heard it clearly and truly. It said, “Ben. *Listen* to her…..”

And l froze. And l considered the suggestion. And l realized, Ben. She’s right. You will have a stroke or something and you’re going to die here on this concrete. And the last thing you will see in this world is XXX looking down at you.

So l went to Lisa’s office and asked her how she could say what she said. I asked how the hell l was supposed to deal with that man. I told her she had no idea what l was going through.

And she told me she did understand. We talked for 45 minutes. She told me about horrible people she’s had to work with. And how she did it. How she stayed positive. How she killed people with kindness. Dared me to try it. So l did. I killed him with kindness. And even though he still got to me, l never let him see it.

And slowly, things began to change. Bit by bit, l pulled myself out of the darkness. The ETL lost his power over me. Lisa–my teacher and guru–talked long with me at least once a week. And I grew and grew.

And l began to thrive. To excel. I began my weight loss journey. I got healthier. My old “Leap and the net will appear,” attitude was back. With a vengeance! 🙂

Today, when they let her go, guess what? She was worried about me. She was concerned for me! She went on about how she doesn’t want me to fall back. She doesn’t want me to slow down. Doesn’t want me to lose my positivity. And insists that l do *not* let The ETL get to me. She was concerned about others.

Because she knew she was going to be okay. And that the Universe simply had a new path for her, new people to meet and council, a new adventure. And that it’s going to be even better.

This woman l aspire to. I am deeply humbled. I’m grieving. I’ve cried. More than once. They’ll be more.

But then I’m moving forward! Because l can’t be a better man for Lisa! Because of any person. Unless it’s the two men l love most in the world. I will be me. The best me l can be.

Because the Universe has a new path, a new adventure for me. I’m leaping. The net will appear!

Namaste,
BG Thomas

AND OMG! NOW THE UPDATE!

They changed their minds! They had totally intended to let Lisa go! Everything was done. But then they asked her if she would be interested in being supervisor of another department! She accepted!! She won’t be ** supervisor, but she’ll still be in my work life, still being the shining light and instrument of positivity!! What a testament to her faith! I am overjoyed! Over the moon. More tears as l shed those of joy! Wow!!!

MOVIE REVIEW: JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM: (possible spoilers, but I’ll warn you)

So l saw the new Jurassic Park movie Thursday night and… I…. Well I liked it. It was good. It was exciting. It had all the amazing, gorgeous special effects of a JP franchise movie. It had the amazing gorgeous Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard. It had all those moments that make you jump, squeal, and sit on the edge of your seat. But…. For me it was missing something. And I can’t quite put my finger on it.

It is kind of like how the second Jurassic Park movie was really good, but not nearly as good as the first one. Same thing happened here.

It is like the people who made Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom didn’t know what was so great about Jurassic World, and in the case of the sequel just tried for something, anything, whatever. They put in dinosaurs and the two great characters…but they got this new movie wrong. It didn’t feel like a labor of love, like the first one felt to me. It almost felt like “let’s see if we can make as much money as the first one!” The characters were not very well developed this time. Kind of cardboard. I didn’t believe in them as much as I did in Jurassic World. I saw Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard’s character) change and grow in the first Jurassic World movie but not in this one. Saw her change from a person who saw the dinosaurs as assets into believing they were real, living animals. This time she just mostly filled up space. I did not believe that she was making the lives and rights of the dinosaurs her life’s mission.

Possible spoiler… If you’ve seen the commercials you will already know this, so that’s why I call it as possible spoiler. For some reason a “supposed dormant volcano,” which we’ve never heard about before, is going to cause an extinction-level event on Isla Nublar—the island where the first, fourth and fifth movies take place. I did not believe that. That right there just spoiled the whole movie for me. Claire is trying to save as many of the dinosaurs as possible and allies herself unknowingly with the wrong people.

Anther Spoiler! A Tyrannosaurus Rex was brought to the mainland in The Lost World—Jurassic Park, the second JP movie, and in this movie a bunch of dinosaurs are brought to the mainland. And it doesn’t work. This is a movie that actually needs to just stay with the formula. I just don’t think it works otherwise. And big big big plot hole? We found out in The Lost World that Isla Nublar is not the only island with dinosaurs. That dinosaurs were originally created and grown on another island called Isla Soma. So major problem right there. Why is Claire and Owen trying to save the “only dinosaurs” left alive when there is another whole island filled with them?

*shrug*

I was just disappointed and I didn’t want to be disappointed. I wanted to love this movie…and I didn’t. The same way I didn’t love The Lost World.

Will I see it again? You bet I will! I’ve seen all of them over and over again.

Hey! I was a boy. I was a boy and most boys love dinosaurs.

I collected fossils! I found some cool ones too, myself, and not just ones bought in stores. My heart raced with Sam Neil/ Dr. Alan Grant when he (and I) first saw a living dinosaur, a brachiosaurus, towering over him, eating from the top of that tree and letting out those elephant-like noises. I was blown away!

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom was an okay movie.

Sadly, for the reasons above and quite a few others, it was not a great movie. It will be interesting to see who agrees with me, who doesn’t, and what this means for another Jurassic movie.

So this post originally appeared RIGHT HERE on May 27th over at one of my favorite websites LoveBytes. It’s been a few days now, so I wanted to share it in case you missed it. It’s about my friendship/relationship with fellow author and co-writer Noah Willaoughby that I thought might interest you. But whatever you do, don’t forget to check out LoveBytes (find it by clicking HERE). It’s a heck of a MM Review site!

Namasté,
BG “Ben” Thomas

When Authors Collide!

Well, not collide really. But meet! This is a little tale of how two authors met and became good friends.

So, four years ago I saw that I had been “friended” on Twitter. Is that what it’s called? I was sitting watching TV with the hubby and saw the request appear in my email, opened it, and saw a very cute picture of a young man. I pointed it out to “R” and he agreed, but before “friending” him back (follow? is it called follow?), I checked out his profile and…hey, it said he was a writer.

I went to Amazon to see the books he had written and read the free pages Amazon offers (“Look Inside!”) and…hey, he could write!

So I “followed” him back and sent him a note complementing him on his writing ability and to my surprise, an immediate back and forth conversation began that went from days to weeks to months.

A friendship had begun that deepened to true friendship as time passed, and eventually we wrote a novella together—Mele Kalikimaka. It is a book I truly love and that has been greeted with much praise, especially from any who has ever lived in Hawaii, where the story is set. I loved how well we meshed (and with my editor Andi, that meshing became nigh on perfect) and I knew any future endeavors would be even better (and I knew I wanted us to have future endeavors)!

Of course, the author I am talking about is Noah Willoughby. He is only 31 and a very talented writer he is. I can’t wait to see where his writing career goes. He has only gotten better, I can tell you! I’ve seen that in the time I’ve known him.

Last year in March he and I finally met face to face at the Dreamspinner Press Author’s Workshop—an annual event—and any doubt that we were friends, real friends, true friends, were banished the second he got out of his rental car where he met me at the hotel I was staying at that first night.

He and I and his legal domestic partner “E” went out to for dinner at Olive Garden that evening (they are everywhere!) and we just hung on each other’s words. We knew we would be writing more together and as the long weekend stretched out, we learned a lot about successful writing and about each other.

For some reason it took us another year to meet face to face. We figured it would be at the DSP workshop, but it had changed to September instead of its regular March/April weekend. And that was just too long to wait.

So instead, with his partner’s permission, he came to visit me where I live in Kansas City and along with my husband, we camped, went to the SEA LIFE Kansas City Aquarium, the Kansas City Zoo, the delicious vegan restaurant Café Gratitude (he is vegetarian), and then also had much quality alone time to plot out a new book. We even did much of that plotting at my favorite coffee café, Oddly Correct, where I often go to write for hours at a time. Why Noah even made me a cake that week—he is an excellent baker and it was my birthday weekend—which tickled me pink. He did it from scratch and I’d never had anyone bake me a cake without a box mix. Not a birthday cake for sure!

Much of what we did that week has influenced and inspired our new book, which I think people will love. It will be at least nine months before it sees the light of day, since I have deadlines already, and he is working on a few projects as well, but it’s happening. We’ll do that live Google Docs thing of course, that pesky five-hour time difference can be a *itch! But it possible—just possible—that he and E might move to Kansas City. That would be glorious.

I am so grateful to have Noah as such a deep and important friend. They say that, “People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.” I do not know what this friendship bears for my life, but I highly suspect it is the latter.

In the meantime, we both have today off and we’re going to work on our new book.

Until next time, love and Namasté!

BG “Ben” Thomas

PS: I thought I would include the cover blurb for Mele Kalikimaka. If you haven’t already read it, it just might be right up your alley!

COVER BLURB:

Being rich has its advantages, but it is also rife with suffocating pressures and family telling Chandler Buckingham how to live his life. When his assistant offers to help him escape the mounting obligations of the holiday season by running away to Hawaii, Chandler jumps at the chance. Only to find nothing is quite as he’d expected.

Micah Keolu has lived in Hawaii all his life. He has to work two jobs and has little time for a social life, but his loving family and the island beauty around him have given him a heart as big as the ocean. And then one day he rescues a man trapped in an elevator in the building where Micah lives and works in maintenance.

The unexpected happens as they find themselves drawn together, only to learn there is more to each other than meets the eye. Can two men from very different worlds find a way to enrich each other’s lives? Maybe the magic of the holidays just might bring them lasting joy!

Dreamspinner Press
Amazon