So my furry all over posts are loved and so that is what I thought I would share today and next week. Please give me your input on what to resent with Furry Friday, my friends! Your wish is my command. Enjoy but please know this! Some of these pictures my not be safe for work! (NSFW?) Continue reading
I’m going to try something different this Furry Friday post. I am going to feature photographers and their work. And part of this will then be different kinds of men. Young, older, athletic, bears, and so much more. Rey Rey’s work caught my attention immediately, and for those of you are into a different kind of men than the young and twinky, for those of you who like “real” men, I think you’ll like these men a lot. There one thing in common with all the other men I’ve featured? Beards of course! Let me know what you think…! Continue reading
A biggie for me is that I want to give up dwelling on things or people that upset me. Things I cannot change. People’s behaviors I can’t do anything about. Dwelling on these things upsets me, which of course, raises my stress level, heart rate (not in a good way), makes me tired and affects my health in so very many ways.
Of course, the biggest stress in my life is the Evil Team Leader. The countless ways that he has to make my life miserable.
But then…does he really? If I remember what I said yesterday here, life includes suffering, what the real suffering is how I react to these situations. Do I dwell on them? Wrestle with them? Toss them over and over and over and over in my mind? Do I think about them? Talk about them? Let them fill my existence?
The ETL will make sure I have job I hate most. He is doing it to upset me. And, that was what really upset me! Thereby giving him so much control over my life! Why would I let me do that? I let him get to me!
The Law of Attraction teachings state that what we think about, we bring about. “It” doesn’t understand words like “don’t.” So, when we think and think and think that we don’t want to be late for work, for instance, we sadly and actually are sending the message, “I want to be late, I want to be late, I want to be late.” An alternative would be, “I am on time, I’m on plenty of time. Time to spare.” Then I am sending out the message that I will be on time, and being on time is the fate that is drawn to me.
When I think that I don’t want a ticket, I am sending out ticket drawing wishes. When I send out how I don’t want the restaurant to be out of my favorite dish, I am in fact sending out the message that I want the restaurant to be out of my favorite dish. “It” doesn’t understand “don’t.” Instead, I shall be thinking and being thankful for my favorite dish and it should always be there.
So, I resolve to stop thinking about how much I don’t want to be around the ELT. Get rid of ill thoughts (which are constant) toward the man. I must stop talking, talking, talking, talking about him. Because the message I am sending out is that I want more of the ELT and all he represents. I will stop, I must stop, dwelling on him. Stop thinking about him in any way I can. Don’t vent about him. Don’t wonder about him. and do not wish him ill. Cleanse my mind of him and remember that suffering he brings in my own doing. If he is purposely doing thing to me that he knows I hate, and I react to them, they bring him utter joy! When I ignore him or do not let the ornery, evil little things he does get to me, he’ll stop doing them.
I will stop dwelling on things that upset me. Everything from what happened in a book or TV show or movie to people driving crazy in traffic to reflecting on things my ex did to me or a friend who is no longer a friend or a President I did not vote for. I am not going to draw that energy to me.
And, if this “drawing” and “energy” stuff is all New Age mumbo-jumbo? Well, that’s okay; Because there is one thing that is undeniable for me. Since I chose this path, I’ve been happier than anytime in my life. And not dwelling on things I can’t do anything about is plain old less stressful, agitating, agonizing and unstable.
And that’s a lot.
I’ve never really done the resolution thing. But I decided to take a different approach, at least from the way that I’ve understood that people do them. No giving up of chocolate or pork or anything like that. I am going to give up things that in the end have only caused me harm.
Rhonda Byrne, author of The Secret, says that every year she only has one resolution, and that is to be positive. Pretty good huh? And it’s all encompassing. If you are positive, everything else will fall in line.
This year though I need to take some steps I can focus on. And the first of these is the need to be right. And the need to be right is pure ego.
Ego is the psychological construct that is our identity. Being right makes us feel “real.” And for most of us, we need to feel real. That is why when someone one asks us who we are, we say things like, wife, husband, mother, father, teacher, supervisor, manager, winner of…, doctor, social worker, writer, best-seller, and so many other things. Ego makes us feel real. Being “right” makes us feel real.
Here is an example. My husband and I went out for dinner tonight to PF Changs. We got two appetizers, including their dumpling. He was surprised when we got four. He insisted we used to get six and they were shaped differently and that they came with a ginger sauce. I don’t remember that. I told him I think he was mixing it up with the lettuce wraps. He got very, very insistent, that it wasn’t the lettuce wraps and I was misremembering it wrong.
And suddenly realized that I didn’t know what I was arguing with him about. There was no way of knowing which of us was right, and it didn’t matter. Not one single bit. Who cares? Why was I arguing about it? Why was I trying to make a point? What point was there?
There have been more wars over who is wrong or right. more divorces. More murders. More holy wars. Religions fighting over which one is the right one and which is the wrong one.
So I resolve to give up the need to be right.
But there will be those that say to me: “But Ben! We need to fight for what is right! For women’s right and glbt rights and the right to practice our own religion and so many other rights,” and to you I say that I agree! When someone is being harmed, we must fight for those people’s (and our own) rights!
But the need to be right over pointless meaningless things?
I remember years and years ago going to see a movie called The Goodbye Girl. One of the characters, the daughter, was played by Quinn Cummings. On the way home from the movie, my parents commented how neat it was to have seen her grow through the years. I said that they must have mixed her up with someone else, that The Goodbye Girl was her first movie. They insisted I was wrong. The could remember seeing her in movies and on TV when she was a very little girl. When we got home (this was way, way before the Internet) I went to my room, got the novelization of The Goodbye Girl down from my book shelf and showed them on the back cover where it said, “…and introducing, Quinn Cummings.” The result of me “proving” that I was “right?” Fury! And the words, “We hope you are happy! Are you happy that Ben has proved once more that he is right?”
Those words knocked the breath out of me! And here, years later, I see what they meant. Why did I need to prove to them that they were wrong and I was right? What had I accomplished? Hurt and anger. That’s all.
When I deal with the Evil Team Leader at work and I prove he is wrong…who gets hurt? Me! That is who! Because he does things like assign me all the crappy jobs. And I mentally strut around saying, “Well he was wrong and I was right,” and he didn’t give a sh*t except for the fact that I embarrassed him! I shot myself in the foot!
When I argues about something so stupid as dumplings, I was helping ruin the evening. When I gave up my need to be right, the evening smoothed out into something quite nice. And yes, I had to be the “bigger man.” But who cares? A better evening was had by all/
This year I give up the need to be right. I think I will be far happier.
In honor of my new Christmas novella, “Sometimes the Best Things Can’t Be Wrapped,” I would like to present some beautiful pictures of beautiful men and their best friends: dogs. Now to rest your mind at ease, my holiday story isn’t about anything gross or squicky or about beastitaly. However it can’t be denied that mankind and the canine have a wonderful and beautiful relationship. And the dog brings out the softer side of even the toughest, meanest men. So here are some photographs. You’ll have to let me know what you think.
Happy Holidays from Me to You!
BG “Ben” Thomas
All right! This is the last of my December Holiday bearded men. Who knows what the New Year will bring. If you want me to keep doing Furry Friday, let me know! Participate! Give me ideas. Themes. Send me pictures *through messenger* of men you think are hot and want me to share here. In the meantime, if 2017 was a good year for you, I hope 2018 is even better! If it was a rough year (mine!) then I hope this new one will not only be better, but filled with an abundance of blessings. Remember that what you think about, you bring about. Let’s all together bring about a fabulous world!
Happy New Year! And now…on with the bearded menz…! Continue reading
So the reviews are coming in and I am so pleased. Many of them are beyond my wildest dreams. There are people that don’t care for it. It is a very different kind of story. But when the reviews are good–wow!–are they good! People seem to get the story or they don’t. It isn’t a Harlequin Romance. But if you like a story with a deep message and the true Christmas spirit, I think you will be one of the people who “get” it, and love it…!
Shee Reader, at Boy Meets Boy Reviews says, “Oh my gosh, this festive treat gave me all the feels! What a joyful book!” To read more, click HERE
Wow! Kristin at Gay Book Reviews says, “This story is simply brilliant. I found this to be so emotionally engaging that I read it in one setting….Don’t let this little gem slip by!” To read more, click HERE
The worst review I could find here at these esteemed review sites still gave my holiday novella three stars. And I am always more than happy to get three stars! Lucy at Hearts on Fire Reviews says, “This is a cute story with the paranormal overtones…This is a great thing to read and I kept thinking of people who maybe need to be turned into a dog and have Santa in their ear….” To read more, click HERE
I was so excited to get a wonderful review at Love Bytes from Becca who said, “Good book to read. I recommend it. It’s cute but it whacks a punch toward the end. There are tears that get shed. And even little funny spots to make you laugh. But also an important lesson….” To read more, click HERE
Thanks to Sandra at My Fiction Nook who says, “I thought it utterly adorable, with a good sprinkle of Christmas magic, humorous moments, and a massive act of selflessness that really shows the reader how much Ned has grown…..” To read more, click HERE
Mary D from Open Skye Book Reviews gave my novella four out of five stars and said, “I loved it. It has that Christmas miracle angle that makes me smile…” To read more, click HERE
Ivy Noah over at OptimuMM gave my story four stars and says that, “This book is a pure Christmas tale…I really liked this book, it was funny and sweet. It’s the perfect book for this holidays, you’ll have a smile on your face reading it like I had….” To read more, click HERE
I was thrilled when the amazingly talented author Serena Yates said, “If you like Christmas stories with a message, if you want to see how a little “Santa magic” can help two men find each other, and if you’re looking for an entertaining read that is as thoughtfully developed as it is emotionally touching, then you will probably like this novel as much as I do. It is one of the best Christmas stories I have ever read!” over at Rainbow Book Reviews. I mean…wow! To read more, click HERE
Cat at TTC Books and More Reviews, gave “Sometimes the Best Presents Can’t Be Wrapped” “Five Meows,” LOL!, and said, “I loved how the story is like the Christmas Carol but not at the same time. I sure would like to see this one in movie form!” She thinks it should be a movie! Wow! To read more, click HERE